How to get superman’s eyeballs. January 25, 2007
Posted by nicevil in So-SoShit.add a comment
NO, I’m not talking about the ability to withstand a bullet with your eyeballs !
I’m talking about his ability to super-speed-read !
The activity of reading is trivial, and most of us don’t really improve our reading skills. Considering that it is something that all of us use every single day of our life, I think it’s a worthy skill to improve.
One of my favorite ways to read is to Speed-Read, basically blazing past a thick fat wad of words and get all the key points and retain that information as quickly as possible and move on from there.
In other words, I have superman’s eyeballs.
I currently read at the speed of 1000 words per minute !
Gradually, I’m still trying to improve my speed without affecting my ability to comphrehend and retain all that shit I’m fitting into my brain.
(note : DO NOT SPEED-READ IF YOU ARE STUDYING COMPLEX MATERIAL THAT NEEDS MORE THINKING PROCESS. YOU WILL VERY LIKELY NOT SUCCEED AND FAIL FAIL FAIL THAT EXAM. )
So here’s two ways you can get superman’s eyeballs.
I’ve covered Zapreader in the past, and I’m introducing a new program I’ve discovered, the spreeder ! 
DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH BRAINS January 7, 2007
Posted by nicevil in Bullshit.add a comment
It’s been a long time since I dumbfucked the public.
Yes, it’s time.
It’s time for the DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH BRAINS trivia !
DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES IN YOUR BRAINS TO IDENTIFY VICTIMS ?
Victim number 1 :
This guy has a great sense of humor.
He has pretty decent drawing skills.
He is one of the most famous people in the world.
He is a vegetarian.
His work is published in thousands of newspapers in the world.
Focal dystonia affected his ability to draw since late 2004. Somehow he fooled his brain by drawing using a graphics tablet. Then on December 2005, he suffered from spasmodic dysphonia which caused his vocal cords to behave abnormally. Somehow he developed his own method to still speak normally.
This dude can really overcome whatever shit life throws at him.
So ?
Don’t know ?
You suck.
Well you probably wouldn’t, unless you’ve seen this.
Yessss, he is the creator of the popular dilbert comic strip. Scott Adams.
If you have no idea what the fuck I’m talking about, here you go.
Click : Dilbert Comic Archive
If you are a regular dilbert reader, you may wanna check out his blog. It’s the same ingenious humor presented in writing.
Click : Scott Adam’s Blog
WARNING : PLEASE STOP READING IF YOU ARE LACKING THE BRAINS.
Victim number 2 :
This guy has a great sense of humor.
He has pretty decent drawing skills.
He is one of the most famous people in the world. People know his name, but none has ever seen his face. He prefers to live a quiet peaceful life.
His work is published in thousands of newspapers in the world.
Despite pressure from publishers to merchandise his work, which would make millions and millions, he refused. He felt it would cheapen his comics. The characters and their personalities mattered more than bling bling. What a guy. A total bloody idiot, and yet respectable at the same time.
So ?
Don’t know ?
What ? You know it’s a comic author but you don’t know the name ?
Well that’s the same as not knowing who it is anyways ! You still suck !
Well you probably wouldn’t, unless you’ve seen this.
YESSS, I’m talking about the most mysterious newspaper comic writer of all time, Bill Watterson !!
Here’s calvin and hobbes, it’s the best of the best !
Click : Read CALVIN AND HOBBES
WARNING : PLEASE STOP READING IF YOU ARE STILL LACKING THE BRAINS.
Victim Number 3 :
This guy has a great sense of humor.
He has pretty decent drawing skills.
He is one of the most famous people in the world.
His work is published in thousands of newspapers in the world.
He majored in physics at college, and took first place among sophomores in a mathematics prize examination.
So ?
Don’t know ?
What ? You say it’s a comic author again ?
Wrong.
Wrong.
Wrong.
Wrong.
Wrong.
Wrong.
Wrong.
Wrong.
Wrong.
WHY OH WHY DO YOU SUCK SO MUCH ????
He’s actually a partime-cartoonist. Details, people, details.
I don’t think you know his name either.
Well you probably wouldn’t, unless you’ve seen this.
YESSS, It’s the creator of FOXTROT, the image of american culture itself ! BILL AMEND !
He recently decided to take a break and start enjoying his life. He now only draws one episode per week, for sundays. Expect to see this dude skydiving, climbing mountains and jumping over lavas.
If you have no idea what I’m talking about, check it out.
CONSIDER YOURSELF EDUCATED. 
The Missing Good Shit January 6, 2007
Posted by nicevil in Goodshit.1 comment so far
A lot of people read newspapers. I, of course, being THE INTERNET EXPLORER reads the majority of my news online.
Seriously, I laugh at every person I see buying the paper newspaper. Reading the news online is free, faster, easier, and there are videos available as well.
To People Who Still Reads Traditional Newspapers :
HA HA HA HA HAH HAHAHAHAHAHH YOU SUCK.
But online newspapers lacks the one quality of a traditional “newspaper”.
Where’s the daily comics for the “online newspapers” ??
I’d like to think that after reading about all the pure shit in the world (important so that you know your shit), there should be some good shit to enjoy too.
It’s all about balance I tell yah.
So being the great and kind person I am, I’ll recommend an online newspaper comic database for those of you who are missing out on the good stuff.
Click : Awesome List of a bunch of newspaper comics !
By the way.
The top 3 among my list of newspaper comics is dilbert, foxtrot, and calvinandhobbes.
Neutralize the pure shit with good shit, people !
Congratulations, now you can fully enjoy the experience of the NEWSPAPER, online.
