The Internet Explorer

This is the survey I created a long time ago. I was annoyed that there were so many stupid surveys out there in friendster and facebook, where people would answer questions about themselves, believing that people will actually give a damn.

Who gives a damn whether you cried recently ??  

So I unleashed a new type of survey, something people will actually read. Something that actually entertains. Something that will turn over your brains.

Yes, little boys and girls, I present to you.

The Survey That Matters.

This are all real world situations that might happen to you one day.

This are the important questions and situations you will face one day.

This are situations that can only be dealt with properly with good brains, and a little courage.

Will you have what it takes to do what you need to do ?

Feel free to copy the questions, answer and post it in the comments.

What Would You Do? 

1. You and your best male friend are walking by a  beach.  All of the sudden, your friend yells in pain !!! You see a snake hanging by his “penis” !!  He  whacks the snake away and unzips, and the skin that  was bitten turns purple..!!  It’s poisonous.  He looks at  you with eyes pleading for help, there’s only one way  out.  Suck it out with your mouth.  Would you ??

 This sucks.  It’s my best friend, man.  I’ll chop it off with  a knife.  Problem solved.  And then give him some  super glue. Ahahha !! No wait !!  Find a prostitute to  do a emergency blowjob !! Yeahhh….  

2.  You’re swimming in a swimming pool in the night, with another lady in there.  She suddenly have leg cramps, and starts to sink.  You save her, and found out that she inhaled too much water.  She can’t breath.  About to commit CPR… you realize that she  has pimples and blisters all over her lips. Would  you ??

I would…. take a newspaper, roll it into a cylinder, and blow it hard like hell into her mouth.  Problem solved. Or a hammer to the stomach. 

3.  Your cousin, a 1 year old baby is being babysitted  by you.  All of the sudden she starts crying.  She’s wheezing for breath.  You find out that her nose is stuck with mucus, and desperately try to make her blow it out with a tissue.  No good.  She’s too young. Only one other option.  YOU SUCK THE MUCUS OUT DIRECTLY.  Would you ?? 

Goddamnit……………….I’ll fucking shut my eyes and  just do it.  It’s a baby’s life after all.  And I have some orange flavored listerine to wash my mouth after this…ordeal.

 4.  You and your brother/sister are playing outside.   You guys are wearing short pants.  A YELLOW  POISONOUS BUMBLE BEE APPEARS, and stings  your brother/sister’s asshole !! You know where we’re going with this by now.  Would you…?? 

Asshole.. poison sting.. huh.  I’ll run back home as soon as possible, get my trusty vacuum cleaner, and  SUCK THE SHIT AND POISON OUTTA MY  BROTHER !!  Phew. I won’t be sucking on nobody’s asshole !!

  5.  You and a friend a climbing a snow mountain.   ALL OF THE SUDDEN YOU SEE A WAVE OF SNOW COMING AT YOU.  You and your friend ran and ducked under a rock.  You’re now covered with thick piles of snow.  Your friend hit his head on the  tone.  He is dying slowly.  5 days passes…. he is on the verge of dying.  He tells you jokingly, “eat me if I die, yeah ?  I don’t want you to die of hunger, ever.” He then dies.  Now you’re dying from starvation.   Rescuers are trying their best to reach you.  You  need to survive for a bit longer.  His arm looks appetizing.  Looks like KFC.  Would you ?? 

Holy shit.  Aaa……… depends.  Do I have a knife and fork with me ?  Ahahahah.  I would do it.  Life is worth fighting for, and my friend wouldn’t mind.  He’s dead, anyways.  He would want me to survive, and I will try my best to do so. I just hope his parents will let me go to his funeral.