The Internet Explorer

Some say that gamers who play with other gamers online don’t have a life.

But really, games are life. A much more entertaining one.

Today I would like to introduce one of the programs I use
to murder people online. ( I OWN YOU ALL )

It’s called X-Fire.

Don’t ask me what that means, I have no idea. I think they include the X for the cool factor, you know, X….. so mysterious.

It’s also the shape of your asshole.

Fire is an engaging word, and it’s uplifts our spirits.

Oh.

I think I got it.

X-Fire ( Your Asshole On Fire. )

Back to what it does.

Xfire automatically updates itself with any games you installed,
and let’s you see what games your friends are playing instantly.

It supports about 600 games, which is more than you could ever need.

It’s also has chatting, file exhange, server joining capabilities.

It’s easy to see what your friends are playing, and you can join them
with a click of a mouse. No need to type in IP-Addresses and bullshit like that.

Have a life, be a gamer.

Asshole Fire

There are a lot of how-to-do-this-and-that blogs in the Internet.

But truly, how many comes with more pictures than words ?
(pictures are worth a thousand words)

And how many would treat idiots with idiotic posts ?

Not many.

But I found one.

There you can learn how to do things you always wanted to do but didn’t have enough brains to do it.

In other words, it’s a blog for idiots.

No doubt many of the postings on that blog are helpful, but at times I wonder if the author has the idea that everyone on earth besides him is a bloody idiot.

I mean, some of his posts are pretty insulting. I listed some below.

How to drink from a packet drink.

How to prepare instant noodle.

How to wash cloth.

How to wear watches.

How to wear earphones.

How to draw/write with your hand.

How to boil water using a kettle.

What the hell ???

At this point I can make the conclusion that the author thinks all his readers are a bunch of 5-year-old babies.

I suspect in time he will be teaching us how to pee and how to shit.

Oh, and how to wipe your shit from your ass using the least amount of tissue papers.
Or better, wipe your ass without the use of tissue papers. (use your hands, then swallow)

Then again, there is still hope in this one.

How to use a condom.

That is by itself the most useful post in his whole blog.

Salvation For Idiots

“According to a new study by Dr. Katherine A. Phillips, the study’s co-author,
people with “body dysmorphic disorder” are 45 times more likely to commit suicide than people in the general population.”

“People with BDD are extremely concerned of their self image, even though there is no noticeable disfigurement or defect. “

In other words, people with BDD looks okay, maybe even good, but have the idea that they look worse than shit. So really, almost anyone could have BDD.

1-2% of the American population has it. But that’s still a pretty large number. (about 6 million people)

It’s easy to confuse yourself having BDD. Don’t panic yet. I prepared a nice survey below.

Do you avoid mirrors?

Do you think about your appearance for more than an hour a day?

Do you pick your skin?

Do you keep touching the defect? (pimple, rash, nosehair and the like)

Do you have elaborate grooming rituals?

Do you avoid social situations where the defect might be seen by others?

Do you have chronic low self esteem??

If the answer is Yes to all of these shit up here, I’m sorry. You’re going to jump down a building one day because of some “ugliness” you imagined.
Boo-hoo.

How ridiculous.

We hear about starving children in Africa suffering from starvation, disease, and yet they try to survive as hard as they can, and now I read about a small portion of Americans wanting to die because they imagined they were ugly.

I can imagine how it’ll be in Heaven for those BDD-individuals who committed suicide.

Stupid-BDD-Suicider : Finally I’m dead. I won’t have to deal with me being ugly.

God : You fucking idiot. You’re not ugly. Your corpse is. Go to Hell, sucker.

*presses button*
*Stupid–BDD-Suicider falls down and down and DOWN*

Stupid-BDD-Suicider : NuuuuuuuuuuuuOoooooooo……………
(long indistinguishable yelling voice)It’s ironic how they choose to die, and be ugly when all they wanted is not to be ugly. (imagined ugliness, by the way)(corpses don’t look nice no matter how much make up is applied, and it’s appearance heavily depends whether you jumped down a building or not. You might look like smashed-human-organs-with-soaked-blood. Now that’s ugly.)

The game industry has changed a lot.

A decade ago, it was pure simplistic mini games with graphics that looked like vomit.

Then came the playstation. Games were longer, the gameplay improved and graphics were pretty good.

Then somewhere along the way the great war between the playstation 2, Xbox, and Gamecube occured. Gamecube got murdered because their weapons were cute lil baby game titles.

Playstation 2 had an incredible variety of games, and hell, you get to play your old playstation games.

Xbox, with unforgettable titles like HALO, HALO 2, KOTOR, STARWARSBATTLEFRONT, MEDAL OF HONOR, and others was very awesome.

And now the next new generation of consoles are coming up. Promising superior graphics, more realistic games, and revolutionary controllers.

Yet somehow I feel that the concept of a game has diminished.

I mean, when a game takes minutes to load it completely destroys the enjoying experience of the game. Not to mention animations that you can’t skip. If I wanted to watch a movie I would’ve, instead of pressing various buttons and be spoon-fed long beautiful animations that would usually have one or two girls seducing you….. but that’s not the point I am trying to make here !

Better graphics, sure. But better gameplay and experience ? I don’t know.
Special effects in game graphics nowadays aren’t really “Special” anymore. Seen that, been there, done that. I’m quite sick of animations. There is very little content nowadays.

Come to think of it, I may have been subconciously become one of those idiots who are into those Final Fantasy Games, those inhumanely beautiful and overly-cute girls popping out, smiling and giggling at my face can be very hard to resist.

From now on it’s all about GAME-PLAY for me. If you think I’m crazy, please refresh your brainwashed brains with this mini-game I so generously provided below here.

Action speaks louder than words. Just Don’t Smash Your Mouse

Woke up this morning, checked the news, and I see the Montreal College shooting.

From News Sources :

Kimveer Gill, 25, shot himself(when he got shot in the arm by the police) after a rampage through Dawson College that left one woman dead and 19 others injured, six of them critically.

The Journal de Montreal quoted Gill as writing, “Work sucks, school sucks, life sucks… What else can I say? … Vengeance is coming.”

Gill wrote on the Web that his favorite video game was “Columbine Massacre”, a game that simulated the massacre of students at the Columbine high school in the past.

He called himself “The Angel Of Death”, and was obssessed with death.

Damnit.

As a college student myself, this news is quite disturbing.
One day I might be walking happily to class and the next thing I know I’m shouting and running for my life.

The videos shown on CNN really depicts this situation.

Why did he do this.

Some would say that it was because of the videogame that simulated massacres.
Some would say that it was the depression and anger towards life.
Some would say he was a fucking asshole lunatic with little brains.
Some would say he was someone obssessed with death and wanted to “go out with a bang.”

It matters because we need to know what is the most appropriate way to deal with this.

We could ban violent videogames that simulates real life.

I am not against videogames, I enjoy them almost on a daily basis. I have played violent videogames that simulates gangster life, and I have murdered many people IN THE VIRTUAL WORLD.
But that was just a game. I know that the characters I am killing are just graphical animations in the computer. They are not real.

It takes a whole lot more than videogames to convince people to kill people.
Kid’s aren’t idiots. Immature and snobbish and selfish maybe, but definitely not idiotic enough to be brainwashed into killing people by videogames.

Then again, I’m not a psycho-logist.

We could ban guns.

But then the sense of security of having a gun at home will be terminated, and gangsters that can obtain guns from the black market will haunt us like ghosts.
If I was a robber, I would be shit-scared of being shot by civilians protecting their home.
The THOUGHT OF BEING SHOT IF I ROB HOUSES kills the very thought of doing so.

Then again, I’m not a crime-expert.

We could all be good and responsible caring parents that can nurture all our kids well.

(continous laughter)………….that’s not likely.

Is there no ways to solve this problem ?

I have went through many possible ways to deal with this, none of them really work.

I do have one of my own though. All of us can do TACII.

The-Almost-Crazy-Individuals-Investigation.

The moment someone shows the signs of violent behavior, counsel them. Talk to them. And find out what is their problem, and help them deal with it the correct way.

And not shoot innocent civilians like this bloody idiotic asshole.
Read more at CNN

I’ve just heard of the death of a girl in china. Her name was Snowly.

Well, you might be thinking what’s so special about the death of one girl from china, seeing the fact that everyday various people are dying all over the world.

This one’s special.

She died from exhaustion playing World Of Warcraft for days. Now, how many girls have died from playing too much video games ? Not many.

Think about it. Her death is the symbol that girls too, can be computer game addicts. Especially online games. It is quite a common fact that girls are, ultimately, social-hungry-creatures. Who talks on the phone and babble all day long about how life sucks ? Who is always chained to that cellphone, and costing innocent lives SUPER-HIGH-TELEPHONE-BILLS ???

We guys don’t do that. (Real guys, by the way. It’s is sad I need to clarify this but the signs are truly showing that the world is turning gayier.) Cars and electronics is all we need.

Then again, there have been guys dying from playing too much online games in the past. Mostly in Korea. I’ve heard some even refused to go to the bathroom because they were in the important* part of the game. Of course, until the dick or ass muscles give out. At that point they’re thankful they never had to do their own laundry.

But a girl dying over online games ?? This is a first. It is by itself a significant proof of the saying, too much of a good thing can’t be good. I look forward to the day I hear the death of a someone who talked too much on the phone. Not that I’m a sadistic bastard or anything, it’s just that serious action is only taken when someone dies. Cause and Effect, all the way. (and then people would finally stop shoving useless information in my brains!!)

Back to the issue of addictive online games that kills people if you’re too attached.
Most people would really think it’s strange. To die while playing games that offer no significant benefit.

But as someone who was deeply immersed in online-gaming in the past, I’m the one who thinks it’s strange you don’t play it up to the extreme.

It’s isn’t just a game. It is a simulation of life itself. It’s still real people behind all those characters in the game. And here in this virtual world you can do pretty much anything you want, and it’s fun too !

AHhhh… I remember those days where I savagely tortured beginning players…
(I would let loose strong monsters in a trading city, where only a high-level-person like me can defeat, and save the day when everyone’s dying or running for their lives), then there was the attacking castles and seizing their treasures, fighting strong bosses (get treasures!) with various teammates during my journey… getting married…etc etc etc…Good times, good times.

Honor, Glory, Love, Friendship….. so easily attained in a virtual world.
No wonder people can easily get too attached to a game.
But then at one point I realized that real life is more of a game than any other online games I’ve ever played.

All games, begin with an intro video, and ends with end game with a long list of names of various strangers that nobody cares about.

Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games (MMORPGs), are continuous. It never ever ends. You play till you die, in real life. Game Over.

(Or you could just quit. But not many will be willing to do so. So that option is ruled out.)

(By the way, most of this overly-attached-gamers/glory-social-hungry-idiots died in a cybercafé, away from home sweet home. Maybe every cybercafé should have a coffin store nearby for convenience.)

Online Funeral in WoW